Dear Wrinkled Wendy,
I want to be an evil wizard just like my father, but I have a problem. Meddling goody-goody adventurers keep ruining all of my best evil schemes. They even killed Dad! What can I do to stop them? And if you have any tips about escaping from ultra-secure, magic-proof dungeon cells I'd appreciate those, too.
Wennith
Cellblock #3
Ustil

Dear Wennith,
Your first mistake was trying to be an evil wizard just like your dad. He's dead! And if that is the best you have to aspire to, then you have already doomed yourself to failure. Wake up! Be your own wizard (be it evil, good or neutral). If you really want to be a successful evil wizard then you have to keep a low profile. You have to learn to be more subtle and elusive. Otherwise good-goody adventurers will always try to pull you down and make a name for themselves. As far as getting out of an ultra-secure magic-proof dungeon cell, that is something you have to plan for before you are caught. If not I hope you possess a very silvery tongue! Good luck!
WW

Dear Wrinkled Wendy,
I have a problem and I need your advice. I'm just starting my adventuring career, as a fighter. My parents, retired adventurers, insisted most urgently and persistently that I follow in their footsteps as magic users. Frankly, I left home to get away from their insistent instruction, and also because they refused to accept that I prefer to fight with weapons instead of spells. While they regard fighters as a necessary component of an adventuring group, they view them as mere tools - shields if you will, to protect the "real" adventurers - and they are adamant that I give up my foolish notion of becoming one of "those kind". Anyway, on the way to my first real adventure, we (the party I've hooked up with) kept encountering these 2 high-level fighters - typical of their kind, not too bright but very strong and quick. It turns out that my parents hired them to "protect" me, and to prevent me from engaging in hand-to-hand combat. According to the brighter one of the two, their contract is in effect until I give up the sword and use only my magic abilities to adventure. Until then, they are to protect me, and "encourage" me to rely on magic. It's embarrassing, and I can't seem to get rid of them. Please help me. What can I do to get rid of these lugs - or convince my parents that I really don't want or need their help?
Patkhin, the Fighter (/MU)
No address
Ossana

Dear Patkhin,
Your parents are right. Magic Users have it all over fighter types, especially if you are coming from the background of two Magic User parents. I just drool over the thought of all the resources that you are surrounded with! By Dagda! You would have to be crazy not to take advantage of that! However, considering fighter types as canon fodder is putting things too simply. Yes, they are great for this purpose (and no MU should adventure without 3 or 4 of them around) but fighters are people too (at least most of the time). If you let the fighter-types die too often they will have to be replaced frequently and then you have to "train" them all over again. Very tiring. Having said all of this you need to get rid of the two goons hanging on to you. I don't care if you are an MU or a fighter. No one should be treated this way! Now, you didn't say if you are good, evil or neutral, but whichever you are you need to get rid of them. Fast! If you are evil or neutral (which I assume you aren't or you would have take care of them already) you can have them removed from the picture in a number of ways, either personally, or through an outside source. Given your letter I would go with someone from the outside. If you are good then your choices are sorely restricted, but a few choices remain. One is to go ahead on your next adventure and perform as an MU. You will have to sell them on how much you like being an MU and that you have given up on any idea of being a fighter (if they are as slow as you say this should be little problem). Once they leave, go and buy yourself a nice sword. Another possibility is to see if they can be bribed. If they are too holier-than-thou to take the bribe then perhaps you can find a holier cause for them to follow (wink, wink). But, really, you should stick to being an MU. Magic Users kick butt!
WW

Dear Wrinkled Wendy,
I'm the ruler of a modest territory, and I live in a large, renovated castle. It's a great place, and the view from the battlements is breathtaking, but the place is so gray and cheerless that it is beginning to get to me, especially during the winter. What can I do to make it seem more like home? I'd especially like to do something with the throne room. Some of my friends have said that tapestries can add warmth and color, but they seem so cliché. Do you have any ideas?
Janee
Castle Mhelgos
Greymarsh

Dear Janee,
So good to hear from you again! Yes, castle life can be sooo boring cooped up in those grey dank walls. And tapestries, by Dagda! No, don't go with those smelly dust collectors. What you need is to bring some of those great views from outside in. You could easily start with your courtyard. Plant all kinds of plants, flowers, and of course trees! Make sure you pick the varieties native to your area and don't worry about planting them all in neat and tidy rows. Boring! Sure, have a plan to your layout, but don't make it too predictable and contrived. As far as indoors and in the Throne Room, there are a number of plants that grow well inside and with proper care and maintenance they will bring life to your otherwise dull walls. Let me know if you need me to come over and help you with some specific planting advice.
WW